Words from my world of running....

I blame the Americans….

What is the most fearsome thing in society...? Global warming - terrorism or Binladins soiled nappy. Top of the list must be a disgruntled and angry runner. Normally an easy going character, but you get on the wrong side of one just beware the ‘Roth of the runner’ as their anger can be as powerful as a out of control formula one racing car. I am sure many races marshals can vouch for this behaviour.

So given that can you imagine the ‘runner rage’ when today I discovered within the first mile of my run, my Garmin forerunner had frozen...!! If 666 is the number of the beast then 888 is the rage of the runner, as at 8 minutes and a distance of 0.88 the watch had locked and the display frozen, so much so I couldn't even switch the thing off...!! I cursed the US defence department who own the GPS satellite. Then I blamed George W Bush, as I would not be able to pace my run. Then I declared war on the United States of America...... why..?  Because they are Americans that’s why…!!

So now every time I go for a run and switch on my forerunner, a signal will be transmitted via the GPS satellite to the Pentagon, were a US government computer geek would alert the CIA that I was on the move. My run would be tracked by a US spy satellite, while on the ground I would have to keep my eyes pealed out for a Aston Martin DB5 just in case MI5 have assigned James Bond take me out. Now that would make angry and cause ‘Runner Rage’.

So really is there any need for all this angst..?
As sports people do we rely too much on technology over pure athletic ability...?
Is this why as a sporting nation we are so crap at what ever event as a nation we enter..?
Does it really matter that David Beckhams 'Predator' football boots were once made from baby kangaroo skin.....Just kick the 'bloody' ball into the back of the net. That's how you win the world cup. Does it really matter that Freddie Flintoffs box is made from Kevlar...? While I was at school we didn't have the luxury of a cricket box, and we very quickly developed 'bollocks of steel'. If we are to keep our hands on the 'Ashes' we really need 'bollocks of titanium' against those rabid Australians who want their pot of ash back.

Sporting heroes of old, like Ron Hill - Brendan Foster and David Bedford did not rely on technology they just went out and ran, and ran, and ran a little further.  They even won races and smashed records without the mechanical aids we have and rely on today. The only thing technical about Ron Hills running kit was his string vest and he was one of the greats.

The Garmin ‘forerunner’ is a great item of kit, and I rarely leave home without it strapped to my wrist. It is a great pacing tool and running partner. Though the running partner needs further development, as the 'Forerunner' has the inability to swap dirty jokes and fart as you would find with a real running partner. Having said that the 'Forerunner' has a sense of humour, as it makes me laugh that a device can tell you were you has just run, what the weather was like and while you were running it can tell you what the time was in Moscow when you passed 5km. This is all fine if you are a runner with the attention span of a goldfish.

How many runners do you see now with wires hanging from their ears, as you can now run and take your entire record collection with you all loaded on to your MP3 player. You can run with music to suit your mood and block out the pain, well unless you have the entire collection of Take That and Westlife playing while you run.  But by blocking out the pain, does this fail to build mental strength. Do you lose and does it distract from the ability to listen to your body, know when it is hurting. Mentally do we become stronger runners…?  Did you know a Jimmy Page guitar solo can last a whole mile....?

It appears each month a new gadget appears. How long before 'Nike' develop a running shoe that will be fully programmable and go out for a run for you while you relax in the armchair. Though it won't be the same, your eyes won't sting from the sweat and what about spiting out flies, can technology replicate that wonderful sensation...? We live in a technological world. An age of text messaging, internet and E-mail, but is it not all this technology making us lazy...? You can even enter a race online. When was the last time you filled out a race entry form, put it in to a envelope, lick a stamp and walked to the post box and post it…? Is the runner in danger of becoming extinct and eventually to be replaced by androids....? Personally I blame the Americans.....!! I am sure without them I wouldn’t suffer ‘Runner Rage’ and I would be happy in my running, and not conjure up such dark thoughts of a future utopia when running would be a whole new concept….